Tips for surviving Writer's Block

So... writer's block sucks... all i have to say is (blank)

1. NEVER listen to your friends.

2. Attempt to eavesdrop on EVERYBODY.

3. Take up knitting.

4. Google it.

5. Ask your friends again.

6. ignore their sexual remarks.

7. Wear aviators.

8. Avoid cliches.

9. procrastinate.

10. Give up Facebook.

11. Think of puns.

12. Talk rubbish.

13. Look around for inspiration.

14. Plagerise.

15. Type something.

Tips for Surviving a Road Trip

Rockin' tunes, truck stops and unhygienic toilets. It is crucial to maintain a clear head on a road trip or things can get messy up in ere.

1. Have a good, well thought out playlist so you don't end up listening to ABBA

2. When your windscreen wiper breaks off in pouring conditions on a highway... DON'T scream... remain calm and pull over.

3. Don't listen to boys for directions... they have no idea.

4.  Trust the GPS and not your gut instinct.

5. Name your GPS Karen.

6. Pick up every hitch hiker you see.. they may give you $10 and you'll be able to afford the luxury of a Big Mac.

7. DON'T leave sausages to rot in your boot... There will be an abnormal smell, making it an unpleasant trip.

8. ALWAYS remember to pack underwear

9. ALWAYS be aware of where the exits are. You'll end up swerving in front of a truck and mounting a road island.

10. NEVER use a bathroom where you need a key.

11. Sing-a-long to Bohemian Rhapsody is a MUST.

12. If car is leaving before 8am... wear your pyjamas.

13. ALWAYS have a bag in hand... you never know when someone will need a little spewy.

14. Stock up on snacks and enery drinks... preferably sugary ones.

15. If someone in the car falls asleep, get a permanent marker and give them some whiskers.

Tips for Surviving University

  It's a wild place to be.. you can never be too careful. If you're struggling to keep up, you're going to need these tips and put them in action straight away if there's any hope of surviving.

1. NEVER spend your washing money on goon... you'll end up being very unhygienic ergo alienate yourself.

2. NEVER spontaneously drive to Picton to go ghost hunting... you'll get freaked out and smoke a rabbit with your car.

3. Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.
4. If a lecture is boring... start a mexican wave.

5. NEVER eat at the dingiest Chinese restaurant you can find... two words- food poisoning.

6. If an 8am class is required for your major... change your major.

7. Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.

8. NEVER drink red skin vodka.

9.  When picking a costume for a costume party.. remember that passing out on the campus lawn in a ninja turtle suit is no way to make friends (refer to tip 8).

10. ALWAYS avoid the chicken in the cafeteria.. Nobody wants bird flu.

11. ALWAYS lock your bedroom door.. if you don't you'll come back to your room being set up neatly outside.

12. NEVER shave your eyebrows.

13. Become nocturnal.

14. DON'T get a $692 speeding fine.

15. DON'T study more then you party.

A few Simple Tips for survival

It's a jungle out there and we can't all be like Bear Grylls so here are a few realistic survival tips that don't include drinking deer blood.

1. NEVER let a blonde lead the blind

2. when texting the guy you like about popcorn NEVER under any circumstances refer to it as poop corn.

3. Always be alone on Valentines Day (your boyfriend will end up taking you to a really fancy restaurant to surprise you, and... you end up wearing a T-shirt)

4. Never eat the cookie icecream before dinner under ANY circumstance.. it will spoil it.

5. When in an awkward position with a guy you're not interested in GET OUT NOW don't be stay to be polite.

6. Have a squishie a day for breakfast

7. NEVER eat a whole chilli regardless of how much money you are offered

8. Make sure you put enough money in the dryer so all your clothes dry (Wet jeans don't slide on easy)

9. NEVER sew up crotch holes in your jeans whilst wearing them (you may sew the jean legs together or puncture your thighs)

10. NEVER laugh at an inappropriate time

11. Try really hard to NOT call your teacher mum

12. NEVER poop at a party.. no matter how bad you need to go

13. NEVER squeeze the juice container in hope it will come out faster... It will take up more time as most of it will end up on the floor

14. NEVER stand alone and sway when you’re at a bar... you’ll get kicked out   

15. NEVER leave a candle burning when you leave your room for a long period of time... you’ll return to the house of wax

The Early Bird Catches the worm

So, being a university student that lives on campus, I’ve become quite a nocturnal owl. When the sun sets, the activities begin. Whether it’s partying or just sitting around, there is not a night when I go to bed before 2:30am. Is this now the life of a uni student? The only reason to wake up in the day is to attend class and once you’re home you feel awful nappy, so it’s back to bed.

    Night time is the best time to do washing. All the washing machines are free so you can take up as many as you want (highly efficient). I have also become pretty familiar with 24/7 Kmart in Shellharbour, so really there is no need to function like a normal person.

   Lately I have still had the same falling asleep pattern, but have been rising at 8am. What is this?! I don’t want to be awake! I toss and turn and sink to the bottom of my bed in an attempt to fall asleep but have no choice but to get out of bed. My point? I finally understand the phrase; the early bird catches the worm. I never even knew what BREAKFAST was. Did you know the campus cafeteria has hash browns? That’s good squishie! So don’t waste a day in bed and don’t waste a night in bed. Let us all be vampires and never sleep!

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